On Being Engaged...And Beyond

Recently overheard:

Young man recently engaged:  "Yep, come May I'll have an ol' ball & chain!"

Now, before we go any further, I want to tell you about this young man.

This young man has trusted Jesus as his Savior.  And I believe he loves the Lord and wants to serve Him with his life.  He has a wonderful godly family, a wonderful sense of humor, is multi-talented, and is now engaged to a beautiful godly young lady.

And I know he made the above statement entirely in jest and that he loves his bride-to-be with all his heart.

So why even bring it up?

Well, because God has taught me some things over the years.  And one of those things is that even in jest, the things we say impact our attitudes.  The things we watch - like those "funny" and "harmless" tv shows (the ones the bash the dad for being an idiot, or promote living together without being married, or lift up rebellious kids as being funny and cute, etc, etc, etc) - those things impact our attitude.  These things are subtle and seem like "not a big deal."

Exactly what Satan would like us to believe.  That it's no big deal.

But here's the challenge:  What if, instead of talking about our spouses as balls & chains - even in jest - we talked about how precious they are to us?  How much we love and appreciate their sense of humor?  Their gentleness? Their godliness?  What if we actually talked about them the way we actually feel - or should feel?  I guarantee that the man who treats his wife (or fiance) as a precious gift from the Lord, AND talks about her that way, will develop an even deeper love and appreciation for her than he has today.  I guarantee that the woman who treats her husband (or fiance) as her knight in shining armour and talks about him as such, will, in fact, HAVE a knight in shining armour!

We are too often unaware of how powerful our actions (words, deeds) impact our attitude - and then impact those we love.  A one-time jest may be no big deal...but all too often, a one-time joke becomes a habit...and a habit becomes an attitude...and an attitude affects our relationships.

So be careful what you say - treat your spouse in a way that  honors God - and you just might be surprised at how your spouse responds!  :)

Why Go To Sunday School?

My Sunday School kids - ages 4th - 6th grade - started asking some really good questions this morning during class.  The questions did NOT relate directly to the lesson, but were prompted by our discussion of the lesson, which was on Psalm 1. 

• If a person is saved and does really bad things and mocks God, will they still go to heaven?
• Can you become unsaved?
• Does a person who commits suicide go to heaven?

The kids asking these questions have been in church all their lives.  One might think they should know these answers already.  But here are some things to ponder:

• Just because a person sits under the godly, accurate preaching and teaching of the Bible does not mean they automatically understand everything they hear.
• We ALL - children included - grow spiritually at a different pace than the next person - much as we physically develop at different paces.  Perhaps these questions had not crossed their minds until now.
•  Sometimes children (and adults!) are afraid to ask questions for fear of being mocked or ridiculed for not already knowing the answer.

After I answered these questions, one the of girls said, "We should have a class where we just ask questions!"

Here's my point of sharing this:  Too many believers do not know what they believe or why they believe it.  When an adult accepts the fact that they are a sinner and that the only way to spend eternity in heaven with a Holy God is to accept the sacrifice that Jesus paid on the cross, we for some reason - I guess because they are adults - assume that they know and understand the same things we understand - even though we may have known Jesus for 30 years or more! 

When our children are brought up in the church, we assume they hear and understand what is being said from the pulpit just like we understand it.  We assume they understand everything being taught in their Sunday School class and in Junior Church.

But there is a lot of "not understanding" going on in our churches today.

Ask someone to explain salvation and they may toss around words like "regeneration" and "sanctification" and "sacrifice" and "holy" and "propitiation"....but ask them to DEFINE these same words and they are at a loss.  They know the language, but they don't really understand what they're saying.

The young people in my class will be the next generation of believers who lead God's church.  At least, that is my prayer.  Perhaps if we can answer their questions TODAY, they will STAY in the church - and not only stay, but be able to live that abundant life that Jesus died for because they know and understand what God expects of them.

I want my class to be a place where the kids feel free to ask me anything.  I may not have the answer - after all, I'm still growing in the Lord, too! - but that's okay, because their questions prompt me to find the answers in God's Word - which means we'll be growing together.  And in the end, what God wants is to be glorified through surrendered, humble, growing believers who obey his command to become more like Jesus...by finding the answers to our questions in His Word.

So, should we have a Sunday School class where "we just ask questions"??  The answer is a resounding, YES!!  Ask away, class, ask away! 

Where's my focus?

My mind sometimes jumps around like a pinball machine, never settling on any one thing for too long.

I am out of sorts today.  It may have to do with the lack of power this morning; my morning routine was out of sync as I got ready for church.  My hair wasn't cooperating, but that doesn't bother me too much - I'm not too vain - in fact, I'm probably a little TOO laid back in that department...it probably had more to do with NO COFFEE...

Anyway, the more I study God's Word, the more I am convinced that I really have no concept of His majesty and holiness...the words "King of Kings" and "Lord of Lords" are tossed too lightly from my lips...Yes, he's my friend, but first of all, he's my KING....but does my LIFE reflect that??

I focus on the petty things...I let the actions of others bother me...and yet, I am forever telling others to show grace...we all grow at different rates in our spiritual life...God teaches us as we surrender to him and are able to hear...how can I therefore be frustrated with a fellow believer who does not display the spiritual maturity I would expect from them?  It ought to break my heart, not cause me frustration!

My frustration only points out my own lack of spiritual maturity.  :(

Oh, that I would cultivate a devotion to God in my own life, that I might grow to understand who he REALLY is and who I really am in light of who He is...I am convinced this is the key to living a godly christian life....

My thoughts are still bouncing....

It's Fall! Better than January 1st...

Every fall we send our kids off to school.  As you look back, do you see growth and change in your child?  Not just physically, but mentally?  Emotionally?  Socially?  Do they know more today than they did in kindergarten?  Do they handle conflict better than they did in preschool?  Can your 3^rd grader help a 1^st grader tie his shoe?

We measure our child’s progress by the things they learn at school and at home; it’s usually pretty obvious when there is a deficiency in some particular area – it shows up in a test result, an inability to accomplish some task, or even by comparison to other children of the same age.

But do we ever stop to consider our own progress?

As Christians, our goal in life is to please God. 

We please God by becoming more and more like Jesus. 

So how do we KNOW if we’re becoming more and more like Jesus?  Is there an “Image of Jesus” test?  Is there some task by which we can measure our accomplishment?  Do we dare compare ourselves to another Christian to measure our growth?

No matter when we were saved – whether we were 4 years old, 14 years old, 40 years old, or 80 years old – we ought to see growth and change in our lives.  God knows we won’t be perfect, but He does expect us to be growing.  We ought to know more about God today than we did the day we received Him as Lord and Savior; we ought to know better how to live the Christian life - how to look like Jesus - today than we did last week.  Last month.  Last year.

So how can we know?

1. To be like someone, you must know that someone.

1. You can’t know how to imitate Jesus if you don’t know anything about Him, and you won’t know anything about Him if you don’t read his autobiography, the Bible.

2. Upon salvation, we received the Holy Spirit – He dwells within us.  If we allow Him complete control of our lives, as He desires, we will be Spirit controlled.  If we are Spirit controlled, others will see the fruit of the Spirit manifested (made obvious) in our lives.  They will see:

                                                   i.      Love – doing what is in the best interest of the other person

                                                 ii.      Joy – sweet thoughts of Christ that eclipse the circumstances around us

                                                iii.      Peace – toward God AND men; we are restful and quiet, not argumentative, not hateful, not distraught, but thoughtful

                                               iv.      Long-suffering – that quality that enables a person to bear reproach, adversity, injury; it allows them to patiently wait for the improvement of those who have done them wrong.

                                     v.      Gentleness – in conduct; not sharp or bitter; mild, courteous, soft-spoken; that quality which encourages others to seek our company.

                                               vi.      Goodness – willing to help others in their need.

                                             vii.      Faith – believing the best; not suspicious, not looking for fault

                                            viii.      Meekness – not quick to anger; thoughtful; contemplative

                                               ix.      Temperance – sober, pure, chaste; not quarrelsome

2. Compare yourself not to others, but to Jesus.

1. Why would we compare ourselves to other imperfect Christians?  Our standard, our goal, is the perfect, sinless Christ – as the old saying goes, if you aim for nothing you will hit it every time!  But if you shoot for the stars, you’ll at least get off the ground!  Remember, God doesn’t expect us to be perfect, but he does expect us to be growing.  We may not be able to attain sinlessness, but we all have room for improvement!

2. The World’s standards change with the latest trends and philosophies.  Do you remember when being pregnant before marriage was a shame that sent the young woman to some far-off relative’s home?  Do you remember when television shows showed married couples in separate twin beds, wearing pajamas that completely covered their bodies?  Do you remember when the greatest topic of conversation was not that the movie, Gone with the Wind, was 3 hours long, but was the one word that Rhett Butler uttered near the end of the film because it was so shocking?  No, we do not want to measure ourselves by the World’s standards, for they are a moving target.

3. Evaluate your daily life, not just your “Sunday” life.

1. Can we even see the fruit of the Spirit in our daily lives? 

2. Do we see more fruit or less fruit than we saw a month ago?  A year ago?

3. Look at our responses to every day life – how do we respond to the crazy drivers on our way to work?  How do we view doing the laundry, taking out the trash, doing homework, a boss’s unreasonable request, our children squabbling, our husband’s muddy footprints on the freshly mopped floor?  Do we treat these events as OPPORTUNITES to display the fruit of the Spirit, or are they annoyances and aggravations and testings and trials and opportunities to cry out, Why me, God??  Why me??

Your answer will reveal a lot about how much you look like Jesus.

It’s fall again.  Don’t wait until January 1^st to take stock; do it now – in fact, do it daily! – make it your goal, with God’s help, to please him by looking more and more like Jesus.  

Biblical Parenting

Years ago I tried to read Jim Berg's book, Changed Into His Image.  I confess, I had a hard time following it.  I have picked it again, however, and have discovered that as I have matured in my Christian life, so has my understanding - and now I have a hard time putting this book down. 

This excerpt from the book struck me this morning, as I look at back at how we raised our children and now as I watch my children raise their children.  I thought this was so appropriate - I know so many families that struggle with how God wants them to raise their kids, and I think Mr. Berg nails it on the head here:

"When God gives a child to a Christian couple, they must realize...Their biblical mission is to evangelize him and then to equip him for usefulness for Christ...Sadly, the goal of many Christian parents is merely "to raise a good kid."  He may never cause them any real heartache, but still not be useful to Christ.  His materialism, impatience, impulsiveness, anxiety, stubbornness, or any other fleshly attitudes and actions can disqualify him from usefulness to Christ...The biblical goal was not reached because their parenting efforts did not produce a disciple of Jesus Christ - someone like the Master and, therefore, someone useful to the Master."

He goes on to point out that often the child is not raised biblically because the parents themselves do not understand the biblical roles of the husband and wife/father and mother for themselves, and therefore cannot translate biblical goals to their children rearing methods. 

God's Word may be an ancient book, people, but it's ancient because it has stood the test of time - and is still so very relevant for us today!!

All My Days Are the Lord's

A friend of mine recently commented in his Facebook status that "all my days are the Lord's."  Of course, I thought, Amen!  I agree with that!  But then, I started pondering what that really means...

And it occured to me that if, in fact, I believe that all my days are the Lord's, then they are not mine - and if they are not mine, then shouldn't my days be ordered in such a fashion as to please the Lord, the one who owns them?  And yet, when I considered my "to do" list for that very day, I could not honestly say that everything on my list was written there with the Lord in mind, but only (or mostly) for myself...

Hmmm.

Someone once commented to me that they didn't believe "every" part of our lives needed to have a spiritual connotation to it.  But I disagree.  If you've trust Christ as your personal Lord and Savior, recognizing that YOUR sins put him on the cross, then you are bought with a price; you are not your own.  And the Holy Spirit lives within you; you are called to be holy - set apart.  So then, every part of our days, every item on our to-do lists, ought to be considered in light of what the Lord wants.

Does your to-do list contain items to pick up at the grocery store?  How does that relate to the Lord?  Well - do you look for opportunites to be kind, to strike up conversations with those around you?  Do you consider - with thanksgiving! - how blessed you are by God that you have not only the financial ability, but also the physical ability to go to the store in the first place?  Do you praise God for his provision and watch care over you?

In everything we do, in every item on our to-do list, there is opportunity to thank and praise God.  But even as you do that, be thoughtful - I also recently saw a post about "opportunity costs" - in other words, as you consider purchasing yet another pair of new heels for yourself, is there something else that money could buy - another opportunity to use those same dollars for the benefit of someone else?  Not everything is "good" or "bad" - sometimes, it's an issue of "good" or "better."

So as you wander (or charge full-steam ahead!) through your day today, consider: is my day for the Lord - or is it for myself?

Are You a Useful Servant? - Part III

We've been looking at ways to be useful for God's glory.  Today's verses highlight an issue I know we've all seen, if not actually been a part of.

Romans 14:13, 19

¹³ Let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumblingblock or an occasion to fall in his brother's way. 

¹⁹ Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another.

We are a useful servant when we desire to do everything for the good of others, to "build up" (edify) others.  Perhaps you know of something that offends someone, but it does not offend you.  Here's an example of what I mean:  There are some people who are offended by women wearing pants; there are some people who have no issue whatsoever with women wearing pants.  One way to be a useful servant would be to avoid offending someone who has an issue with this by not wearing pants when you  know these people will be present.  You may be thinking, "But I have every right to wear pants if I want to!  They shouldn't be able to tell me what to do!"  Ah - but remember, the goal of a useful servant is to build up others - not to serve self.  Does it cost you anything to avoid the conflict and thereby avoid offending your brother or sister in Christ?  No.  But it will go a long way in making "peace" as verse 19 encourages us to do.

This is just one example; I know you will think of others.  The point is that the useful servant has a heart for others first, always striving to please the Lord.  You may have a different opinon on something, but your opinion ought not to be so important to you that you are willing to proclaim it at the cost of alienating the people around you.  Take a stand on  doctrinal issues, yes.  Take a stand against sin, yes.  But in areas of liberty, always defer to your brother/sister in Christ.

Galatians 5:13

For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another.  (emphasis mine)